Transforming Your Family

Marriage and family are primary concerns in my ministry.  Marriage is the highest human relationship.  When parenting supercedes it the results are disastrous.  Parenting is brief, marriage is a lifetime.  Understanding this one truth can be transforming.  It is transforming because a strong, Christ-centered marriage is foundational to good parenting. Voddie Baucham lists three things that make prioritizing our children over our marriage both foolish and dangerous:

1. Our children will eventually leave home. Prepare your marriage for the empty nest:

To my knowledge, I’ve never talked to a person who divorced after twenty-five or thirty years who didn’t say something like this: “Once the kids were gone, we realized we really didn’t have much of a marriage.” Building a marriage on the foundation of the preeminence of children is like building a house on a rented removable slab. You may have days or even years when you feel completely secure, but the day is coming when the lease will be up and the foundation upon which your home stands will be taken away. A family shepherd must not allow his family to fall into this trap.

2. Our marriage forms the cornerstone of our children’s security:

Ironically, those who prioritize their children above their marriage are not only jeopardizing their marriage, they’re actually depriving their children of the very thing they desire to provide them. The greatest source of security our children have in this world is a God-honoring, Christ-centered marriage between their parents. Putting the children first is like a police officer putting away his badge and gun in order to make the public feel more at ease. A family shepherd must put his marriage before his children in order to provide them with the security they both need and desire.

3. Putting your marriage first will actually prepare your children for marriage:

Prioritizing your children above your marriage is both foolish and dangerous because it sets a precedent that contradicts one of the greatest lessons you’ll ever teach your children—how to be good husbands and wives. We must first and foremost model a commitment to marriage. Failure to do this will communicate ideas that are contrary to what we believe—starting with the narcissism it tends to create in our children—including the pitfalls that may follow them into their marriage. For example, if we prioritize our children above our marriage, we teach our children that marriage exists for children. If this is the case, how will our children react to the early months or years of their marriage when there are no children? How will they respond if, God forbid, they should struggle with infertility? If the heart of marriage is “living for the kids,” these scenarios could be difficult at best.

The Ransom

Bound by sin and guilt and shame
I call upon His precious name,
and discover the price at Calvary
is more than enough to ransom me.

Oh Mighty King how can it be
that on the cross you ransomed me?
Blood flowing down from piercing crown
bathed all my sin and ransomed me.

Now I am loosed from sin to be
bound to Him for all to see.
So they may know the power and love,
of the One who came to set us free.

The Lie

“For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever.”  (Romans 1:25)

What would you trade for your relationship with Jesus?  Nothing I hope.  However, we tend to make bad trades everyday in relation to our walk with Jesus Christ.  People on a daily basis choose ‘the lie’ over God’s truth by succumbing to temptation.  We determine that God wants us to be happy and then determine what will make us happy.  Often what we choose to make us happy does not line up with God’s will.  What is this called?  Idolatry. 

Idolatry is the sin of the mind against God.  You may not think at the time of any decision, “I think I will go against what God wants,”  but when you act against His will knowing what His will is you have committed idolatry. 

The word ‘rather’ in this verse literally means to by pass.  In other words, those who committed idolatry never even considered what God wanted.  Instead, their consideration was according to their own desire.  They believed ‘the lie.’ (I bet you are wondering why I keep quoting ‘the lie.’).  Let me explain.  The word for lie in the Greek is preceded by a definite article which is translated ‘the.’  So instead of this being just any old lie it is the lie. 

In the Garden of Eden, Satan told Eve, ‘You won’t die!  When you eat this fruit you will be like God.’  Satan informed Eve there was something missing in her life.  There was more to be had.  Satan would have made a good advertising exec, in fact I think he is.  The goal of advertisers is to convince you there is something that will make you happy, and it is what they are selling.  We believe every day that if I had this or that I will discover what I have been looking for.  It’s ‘the lie.’

What every person is looking for is discovered in what we keep passing by, a real and personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Are you believing the lie?  You and I cannot walk in light and darkness at the same time (1 John 1:6).  You and I cannot love the world and the Father at the same time (1 John 2:15-16).  You must make your choice, who will you believe?

Encouraging Words for Troubled Lives

In my blogpost, Suffering, I attempted to bring some light to how we cope with it.  The following are some words from a couple of great servants of God to encourage those who are going through trials.  The words of Alan Redpath are taken from a sermon.  Andrew Murray's words are taken from his journal during a time of trouble.  Both quotes have been encouraging to me during tough times.  I hope they are helpful to you.


"There is nothing--no circumstance, no trouble, no testing--that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me.  If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment.  But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is--that is the rest of victory!"  -Alan Redpath, former pastor of Moody Church


“First, He brought me here.  It is by His will I am in this straight place.  In that fact I will rest.  Next, He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.  Then He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn and working in me the grace He means to bestow.  Last, in His good time He can bring me out again – how and when, He knows.

 Let me say I am here…

1.                  By God’s appointment

2.                  In His keeping

3.                  Under His training

4.                  For His time”   -  Andrew Murray

Antiperspirant and Tents: Why Jesus Came!

Perhaps my favorite of all verses that relate to Christmas is John 1:14, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.”  This simple verse states Christ’s transition into this world and His purpose for coming. 

His transition was painful.  “The Word (God the Son) became flesh.”  He left the place of life and came to where death was reigning.  Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus, “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross.” The ‘for’ in this verse is the Greek word ‘anti.’  This word means instead.  We identify with this word every day when we get dressed and apply antiperspirant because instead of perspiring we want to be dry.  Or if you suffer from athletes foot perhaps you regularly apply antifungal cream because ‘instead’ of fungus you want feet that are blemish free.  With this in mind, we can understand that Jesus, “instead of the joy that was set before Him, He endured the cross.”

What joy did Jesus refuse in order to endure the cross?  It was the joy of glory where He continually enjoyed the worship of the angels.  The picture painted by the writer of Hebrews is that of a wealthy businessman losing his fortune and being forced to move to the projects.  Jesus left glory for gloom, diadems for despair.  And He did so because of love for you and me. 

During Jesus’ ministry here on earth He was often found in the places where suffering, sin and sorrow were at their highest.  “and dwelt among us.”  The word ‘dwelt’ can also be translated ‘tabernacle.’  Jesus pitched His tent among us, a troubled people.  Jesus came to touch the untouchable, reach the unreachable and love the unlovable.  He came to reveal God’s salvation and holiness to us apart from our effort. He came to reveal what had been known, ‘before the ages began,’ that by God’s grace and purpose we are saved to life and immortality through the gospel (2 Timothy 1:8-10).

Mountain Moving Prayer

Prayer is powerful!  Jesus taught the disciples the power of prayer.  One illustration he used is that of a mountain being cast into the sea (Mark 11:23).  All of us have mountains to overcome in our lives.  They stand before us, intimidating us.  Often we look for a way around them because we see no way to get over them easily.  But Jesus’ solution was to move them.  How do we move the mountains in our lives?  Through prayer!

Paul says we do not pray as we should (Romans 8:26). There are at least five reasons we do not pray as we should:

1.      We are preoccupied with other things and priorities that take the place of prayer, even that take the place of God.

2.      We are faithless – we do not believe God’s promises.  We all find ourselves like Peter who became distracted by what he saw rather than what he could not see, the power of God at work.  And to us God says, “Why did you doubt?”  Still God is faithful to pick us up

3.      We are discouraged – unanswered prayer.  Unanswered prayer does not lie in God’s hand but our own.  When God does not answer prayer, look to yourself first.

4.      We are sinful – If I regard sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear.

5.      We pray without heart

 Prayer that is routine or repetitious indicates an anemic spiritual life.  John Bunyun said, “When thou prayest, rather let thy heart be without words, than thy words without heart.”  To pray with your mouth what is not truly in your heart is hypocrisy. As God loves a broken and contrite heart, He loathes a divided heart.

Steps of Mountain Moving Prayer

1.      Mountain moving prayer begins with the recognition that you can’t move it.  If it is going to be moved it is going to be moved by God.  Jesus said that what you ask for you receive.  Answered prayer is a gift, so it is not of you but of God. 

2.      Mountain moving prayer occurs when you realize God wants to move it for you.  He waits to be wanted by you, which is often the reason the mountain is before you (Isaiah 30:18). 

3.      Mountain moving prayer is diligent. Refuse to leave God alone about it. In Latin, the ancients defined prayer as “Ascensus mentis ad Deum,” a climbing up of the heart unto God.  So, you do not have to climb the mountain to overcome it, you have to climb into the heart of God.

4.       Pray until the mountain is moved!

Got Peace?

Recently, Gina said to me, "I'll be out on the back porch if you are looking for me."  That phrase, 'back porch' is peace to me.  You see, some of our greatest joy and times of peace have taken place on our back porch in the cool of the morning just as the sun is coming up.  We share times of conversation and laughter on the back porch as the sky begins to glow.  But those times always come to an end as the day calls out its tasks and responsibilities and we both begin getting ready for the day. Is this the end of our peace for the day? Of course not!  Although the day may hold many stresses and complexities and trouble, none of these things dictate the disposition of our peace.  So how can peace be consistent?

The joy of the Lord is the hinge pin of consistent peace (Philippians 4:4-9).  All other disciplines follow after our joy in the Lord or to put it another way, our confidence in the Lord.  Without knowing he indwells and fills we will not be gracious. Without knowing he hears us we will not pray. Without knowing our hope in Christ we will not consider our hope in eternity.  Without the joy of the Lord, no other Christian discipline functions at its intended capacity.

But how can we have joy in the midst of a hostile chaotic world? 

“Christian joy is a mood independent of our immediate circumstances.  If it were dependent on our surroundings, then, indeed, it would be as uncertain as an unprotected candle burning on a gusty night.” – J. H. Jowett, Day by Day. 

This life changes but the Lord does not change. There are times and seasons in life that arrange themselves like a sunny spring day and others like the gloom of winter, cold and dreary.  One day I stand in the presence of new love at a wedding, the next over an open grave.  In a single hour I can hear the celebration of new parents over the birth of a child and the despair of a man who sees no reason to continue living.  In the same moment I can feel both like a champion and a chump.  The days we live change like the weather, but our joy can remain. What’s the secret?  “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." (De. 31:6).  “Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.” (Josh. 1:5).  “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Ro. 8:31).

God is not a fair-weather Companion leaving us when the days grow dark and lonely.  He is with us always in the days of life, the day of death, the day of judgment.